Novelty socks

man legs wearing cocks on socks

Novelty socks for men

If truth be told, as much as we like to make a big song and dance about the unmatched quality of our white cotton socks, cocks on socks are at heart, a novelty sock company.

Its the cocks that makes our socks special and make them the best novelty socks for men around.

So what is it that your average 21st century bloke looks for in a pair of novelty socks?

We think that most people expect a pair of novelty socks to raise a smile, but comfort and wearability are obviously key too.  Their's no point in making everybody fall about laughing if you're in total fucking agony.

We've spaired no effort in making the socks both funny, comfortable and waerable, working closley with artisans in the far east to select materials and manufacturing processes.

What's special about the cock?

The cock, on cocks on socks novelty socks for men, is designed to be as inoffensive and benign as a penis can possibly be.  Its flaccid and cartoonish, likened to a pair of airpods on reddit and a snail on instagram its supposed to as neutral as a schlong can be in this day and age.

white novetly socks for men hanging on a washing line


So when should you buy novelty socks?

Fathers day socks

There are many, many occassions when socks makes a great present.  These include fathers day, what father doesnt appriciate a great pair of socks?

You may see it as a little cliche but most fathers actually look forward to getting socks.  It saves them having to go out and buy them, which is great becuase most dads fucking hate shopping.  I know mine does.  

Don't be afriad to get your dad socks for fathers day, his birthday or christmas, if not all 3.

Secret santa gift under £10

Another time when socks make  great gift.  Many companies enforce a limit on the amount you can spend for an office secret santa.  At just £7.99 cocks on socks white cotton sports socks make an excellent seret santa gift for under £10, with room to spare!

Just for fun

Who says you need an occassion to buy someone a present? We've heard of people buying these socks as a gift, just becuase they think they are funny socks and somebody they love will appriciate them.  If that isn't the purest, sweetest thing then we dont know what is.

white cotton sports socks and a tennis racket on a blue background

Who wears novelty socks these days?

Cocks socks white novelty cotton socks are sports socks.  Made to be worn when playing sports or down the gym.  They are comfortable, hard wearing and absorbant.  Train in cocks on socks white novetly cotton sports socks for men and get great results.  Atheltes, from tennis players to boxers and footballers wear cocks on socks.  That's who wears cocks on socks.

Funny socks to wear at a wedding

Weddings are wonderful family occassionas, the joining of two people in holy matrimony.  A great time to bang out a pair of novelty socks then. Make your parents blush, your grandparents confused and watch the joke go right over the heads of the kids in attendance.  We reccomend the black bamboo socks with black or white cocks on for weddings(and funerals).


Novelty socks for women

Have a guess at who loves novelty socks more, men or women? 

Honestly, when we set up cocks on socks, we thought that most of our customers would be guys.  Immature guys, like us, who laugh at penis jokes and send each other stupid shit on our ‘lads’ WhatsApp group.  

Oh, how wrong we were.

Obviously, there are some guys who buy our socks (fucking legends) but around 80% of our customers are women.  Maybe men are into a different type of novelty sock than our brand of playful rude novelty sock?  Who knows, but, let’s focus on the women who love cocks on socks.

It’s hard to know (we dont ask) how many of our socks are self purchases or are given as gifts.  Obviously, they make a great hen party gift, a secret Santa or joke Christmas gift but we like to think that there’s plenty of stylish women out there buying our socks just to add to their wardrobe.  Maybe we should approach Net-a-porter?

We’ve been trying our hand at dying our socks recently and we’ve added some amazing new colours to our range.  The hot pink is already a top seller and we have high hopes for our tropical green, woodland camo and orange socks.

There are loads more colours to come and we have some tye dye socks coming through as well as some more great limited editions artist collaborations


Novelty sock sizes

As of late 2019, we have two sizes, small and medium.  Generally speaking, small is for women and the medium is for men though there is obviously some crossover and we dont like to explicitly gender our socks.  Despite them having a penis on.

If your shoe sizes is a UK 2-8 then we suggest going for the small.  If you are over an 8 then our medium size socks maybe a better fit.

We started off with just one size and quickly realised that one size does not fit all when it comes to socks.

The plan in the future is to add more sizes to the range though, as its been a difficult year thanks to COVID, these plans are on hold for the time being.