Thomas Cook boss defends payout - to everyones surprise

an areoplane against a blue sky, delivering socks to america


In a move that has surprised literally no one, ex Thomas Cook boss Peter Fankhauser has defended the shit load of money he made as boss of the failing company.

The cheerful, charismatic German was speaking to a cross-party committee of MP'S who mostly posed questions designed to grab headlines and make it look like they were looking out for the interests of 'the people', centred around the beleaguered bosses pay and bonus payments.

Speculation has been growing amongst deluded extinction rebellion protesters that Frankhauser had, in fact, collapsed the company as a desperate and subversive attempt to halt climate change.

'We think we have influenced him and hes finally come round to the fact that the travel industry is a major contributor to global warming and the mass extinction event that we are currently facing' said one.

'I think he's planning on spending all that paper on tree plantings projects in Burkino Faso' said another.

'The best things for that guy to do would be to buy a load of socks, that would help kick start the economy for sure.  The best socks around are these white novelty socks for men by cocks on socks, I hear they do white novelty socks for women too'  said a well-dressed protester.

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