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Johnson mistakes cock for self portrait and orders 12 pairs of socks

Edward Fleming

Cocks on socks at the houses of parliament

 

In another humiliating gaffe, divorcee, disgraced former journalist and current British prime minister, Boris Johnson has ordered 12 pairs of white cotton socks believing the flaccid, pale, embroidered penis to be a portrait of himself.

Earmarked for one of his trademark jogs in questionable attire, Johnson was initially delighted to find the flattering tribute befitting his status and reputation, and excitedly ordered multiple pairs of the white cotton sports socks.

 

Does boris johnson jog in cocks on socks

 

Johnson initially wanted to order 6 pairs of white socks with white cocks and 6 pairs of white socks with black cocks on, to showcase his commitment to diversity, however, it was pointed out to him by girlfriend Carrie Symonds that this may lead to accusations he was blacking up.  The implications of which Johnson failed to grasp.

 

It is currently unclear whether Symonds was aware the socks were not actually a portrait of Johnson or whether she just thought it would be funny.

 

 

After parading around No.10 in just a string vest, a pair of  Y-fronts and his socks an aid eventually pointed out to him that they were, in fact, novelty white socks with a crudely drawn but expertly embroidered penis on.

Johnson is yet to comment.

Emulate Boris, click here to buy some socks

 


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